fihisoh:

wouldn’t it be HILARIOUS if I put my education on Facebook as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry???? wouldn’t that be so fresh???

(Source: surrealdads, via squirtletrainer)

spookygoo:

I was talking about why Chef Gordon Ramsay was so angry all the time, and explained that he originally wanted to be a professional soccer player but suffered a really bad knee injury and couldn’t play anymore, so he poured himself into cooking and culinary arts to help with his anger issues, but his abusive alcoholic father disapproved of his cooking and died before ever tasting any of it and I realized that Gordon Ramsay has the most anime backstory ever.

(via squirtletrainer)

the devil wears prada is a lie, i’m literally just wearing a white tee

(Source: freddifish, via best-of-text-posts)

lieutenantbites:

*opens inspect element on a webpage* Ive accessed the mainframe

(via squirtletrainer)

teshima-junta:

do you ever look at your url and go “hell yeah”

(Source: teshima-junta, via shouldnt)

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

(via squirtletrainer)

basedgosh:

*pretends to understand the movie reference you just made*

(Source: basedgosh, via best-of-text-posts)

evancrossing:

You:

image

Me:

image

(via shouldnt)

starbuckers:

What if all of our moms ran our blogs for a day

(via sniffing)

  • me: im so tired, i could collapse into bed and sleep for a year..
  • me: gets in bed
  • me: how was earth created
  • me: who made microwaves
  • me: how does the internet even work
  • me: i'm hungry
  • me: feels bad about something i did 4 years ago
  • me: remembers 73 unfinished tasks
  • me: too tired to sleep